King of Pun
Moss Bliss
(ttto "King of Pain" by Sting)

There's a silly black thought in my head today
And it's making me grab my ax and start to play
There's an old, twisted joke about an old tree trunk
And a tune that I lifted from that band Grand Funk

I got kicked out the door into the searing sun
The whole room fills with groans, some wish they had a gun
Some folks think that I'm crazy, but I'm having fun
For it's my blessed curse to be the King of Pun

There's a Huckster Room over there, just down the hall
     (Is my song in there?)
There's a Steve Goodman book that just came out last Fall
     (Is my song in there?)
There's a brand new Xeno in the mail today
     (Is my song in there?)
And I found some old Kanteles just yesterday
     (Is my song in there?)
When the fen see me coming, they all duck and run
Every Red-Shirter's phaser now is set on Stun
My Serenity filk, alas, is still half-done
And it's my blessed curse to be the King of Pun

There's an email from Benefiche about Swallow Hill
     (Is my song out there?)
The Columbia fen say they hold housefilks still
     (Is my song out there?)
There's a Pegasus nomination promo call
     (Is my song out there?)
And the planning has started for the Witches' Ball
     (Is my song out there?)
I got kicked out the door into the searing sun
And the air filled with groans, somebody pulled a gun
Some folks think that I'm crazy, but I'm having fun
For it's my blessed curse to be the king of pun
I can write songs subtle, I can write them absurd
However much I practice, I forget half the words
Living here in Asheville, my songs never get heard
Ask all you like, but I will never play Freebird...

King of pun
There's a Chuck Katt imitator Furry guy
There's an Enterprise uniform hung out to dry
There's a silly black thought in my head today
And it's making me grab my ax and start to play
I was kicked out the door into the searing sun
When the fen see me coming, they all duck and run
And my lyric book weighs about a half a ton
For it's my blessed curse to be the King of Pun
King of Pun
I'll always be King of Pun
I'll always be King of Pun

Copyright ©2008 by Gerald L. "Moss" Bliss (11/22/08). All Rights Reserved.

I was first infected with this idea at SerpentStone Harvest Gather 2008. I jotted the words and ideas down on my trusty Netbook, took them home and transferred them to my home computer, deleted the copy on my Netbook... and within a day, my home computer crashed, losing everything. I re-invented this filk during SerpentStone Samhain, while house-sitting at SerpentStone House (everyone else was at the Festival at Dragon Hills).